is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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