My liver just broke up with me...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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