The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize