Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
that is very illegal...i love you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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