i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
