As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
