Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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