these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
