I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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