I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
