haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
