Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What drink are we having for lunch?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
