would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize