Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
