Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
