NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
