I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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