Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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