I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
