I'm gonna have a badass scar
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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