i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
