The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
