doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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