My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
