This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
