I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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