Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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