i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize