I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
