# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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