Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize