Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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