forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
