so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
