he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize