I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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