Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
