I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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