also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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