Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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