My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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