Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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