I must be too annoying 4 u.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize