i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
