just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
