yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize