so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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