You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
