You really coming over, don't trick.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
