sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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