Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
