I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
