My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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