I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
