I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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