what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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