Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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