Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
