I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
