the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
