so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
