You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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