he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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