PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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