Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
