Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
