You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
