Your dad touched me again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
