my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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