you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
