I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
