Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
