either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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